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My Best Friend “Gloria”

I have a new best friend named “Gloria” and I am so grateful to have her in my life. Anyone who knows me will tell you I have an awful sense of direction. I once almost got... lost in a funeral procession. I’m glad I was able to find my way, as I hated to think that the poor deceased would have to wait for me. My personal belief is that when the Heavens were creating me, the Angel of Direction was on a smoke break and I got ripped off

Last Christmas I received a little black box with a gift inside – her name is “Gloria.” Her middle initial is P and her last name is Stevens, “GPS” for short. One day I was in a hurry so I decided to call upon her directional gifts. Since that day, we have been together non-stop. It wasn’t always great; we really got off to a bad start. Like all friendships, you must develop a sense of “trust.” I didn’t trust Gloria in the beginning and thought I knew better than she. Every time I tried things my way, Gloria would say “recalculating.” One time she used the word “recalculating” 5 times in 10 minutes. Poor Gloria, her little voice was getting hoarse. A couple of times I played a little trick on her and called on her just to go two blocks. Needless to say, she was not happy with me and wouldn’t speak to me for a week. I’ll never do that again – I drove without her somewhere and ended up in Iowa (I live in Kansas).

I think there is someone in the box besides her. She has never admitted this to me, but I think she was calling me “idiot” to that other person (probably named Glenn P Smith yet another “GPS” for short) behind my back. On long distance trips, when I am driving about 150 miles, I wonder what she is doing in that box with Glenn.

Friendships, like all relationships, are never perfect. I resent that she never asks me questions that a friend would ask, like “how was your day?” On the other hand, even though she could care less, I’m able to make it “all about me” and she lets me talk and talk; rarely interrupting me, except for a word or two like “turn right” or “recalculating.” Friendship is a ‘2-way street’ and it would be nice if once in a while for her to tell me what is going on with in her life. I sometimes get tired of her monotone voice and wonder if she knows any other words besides “recalculating, miles, and distances.” In other words, she can be quite boring. But like all things in life, you must decide if the good outweighs the bad. When I obey her bossiness we are great friends. I began to trust her more and more and have come to depend on her. And isn’t that what good friendships are made of; Trust, honesty, and someone who is able to help us through tough times?

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